The text read, “Are you watching the news? Trump is talking. We bombed Iran.”

No fear. No trepidation. No move to watch the live broadcast.

Later that night, just before bedtime, I briefly changed the channel to catch the highlights. The newscaster reports, “America is at war.”

Really? Has it gone that far already? Still, no fear. No panic. My first initial thought, “yep!”

As I lay in bed contemplating my lack of emotion, I concluded that I had no fear because I had been expecting something for quite a while now. Besides, there is nothing I can do about it.

Still, I should be feeling something, right?

I remember the terror I felt after 9/11, the uncertainty, the disbelief that my safe and predictable world had been disrupted, our frailty and vulnerability uncovered.

I wondered if my lack of fear stemmed from having lived through 9/11 as a young adult.

Perhaps my lack of fear comes from having faced my own mortality when I was diagnosed with cancer all those years ago.

Or, maybe everything I saw, experienced, and did while working as a chaplain during the worst days of the COVID pandemic vanquished my ability to be surprised and shaken. I have already lived through some of the worst of humanity. What more could another war do to me?

It’s not like anything that is happening is new. It has been going on for years – the war between Russia and the Ukraine, between Israel and Palestine – the war against terrorism. Perhaps it’s my fascination with history that keeps me from being shocked. After all, I see so much of it being replayed on our modern stage.

I see remnants of Hitler and the SS.

I see parallels with world powers like what led to both world wars.

I see similarities with the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Cold War with Russia.

I can see resemblances with the Gulf War and the War on Terror.

Even here at home, I see similarities between what is currently going on and the World War II Japanese American internment camps, the Civil Rights movement of the 60s, or Muslim American distrust after 9/11. Will we now treat anyone of Middle Eastern descent the same way? San Antonio has a growing Middle Eastern population. Should they fear us more than retaliatory bombs from other countries?

As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us:

“What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

As I contemplated my lack of fear, I thought about the fact that bombs are not dropping on my head, destroying my home, killing my family and friends, or maiming me. I still have plenty to eat and a warm, safe bed to sleep in. I still have a job to go to and money in the bank. Even if bombs did drop in the US, my part of the country is not a likely target.

I am like Job before everything was taken from him. In summary, Satan challenges God, claiming that Job is righteous only because God has blessed him. Satan claims that if all Job’s comforts are taken from him, he will curse God.

Everything Job has is taken, first his family and livelihood, then his health. Only his life is spared. Although Job questions God, he never curses Him.
This is when I realized what bothered me.

It is not war:

“You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains” (Matthew 24:6-8).

I have absolutely no control over what the world leaders do or don’t do. I have no control over where missiles fall, who dies, and who lives. I have no way of knowing what the outcome will be. So, why worry?

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

Which, in and of itself, is strange. After all, I am, by nature, a very high-anxiety person. But not when it comes to this.

I have no idea what is happening or why, but I do know that, although God did not cause it, He allowed it.

I also know that God alone is King, and no matter what happens, He wins.

I know Him and I trust Him. That’s enough for me right now.

That is not to say that America will never be bombed, that I am immune to the effects of evil simply because I love and serve the Lord. If I, or anyone, believes such a fallacy, we need to retake our history classes and reread the Bible. Oftentimes, it’s the innocent who suffer the most. God’s followers suffer and sometimes suffer greatly.

I am not afraid of suffering. I know who walks beside me, come what may.

Although I also know I will likely be afraid in the midst of suffering, should the worst come to pass. I will likely react as Peter did when he took his eyes off Jesus and focused instead on the storm. He nearly drowned. But for the grace of God, who saved Peter after he cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matthew 14:22-33).

Then again, I have already experienced the strange human phenomenon that takes over in the midst of suffering.

In the middle of it, we don’t have time to think. We simply act. We simply do what we have to do to survive – or not. The fear and trembling come after, when we have time to contemplate what just happened.

No, I am not afraid of America going to war or the possibility of war coming to America.

What I am afraid of is not being the kind of Christian I want to be.

I am afraid of not being brave.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer is my hero. When the majority Christian church kept her mouth shut and her head down, ignoring the atrocities of Hitler’s regime, Bonhoeffer boldly spoke out against the Reich and against the German church. Even when faced with prison and death, he remained true to God and to what he believed.

I want to be that brave if ever I am faced with a similar crossroads.

And I am afraid of failing.

Then, this morning, before attending my church, I watched Nashville First Church of the Nazarene’s service from last week. What Dr. Dan Boone had to say a week before America bombed Iran spoke to my fears.

He discussed being in the liminal space – that in-between place. He described the liminal space this way (and I paraphrase):

Imagine going to bed in your home and waking up in a country vastly different from your own. That confusion and disorientation is what it is like to be in a liminal space.

This made me think of what’s been going on here at home – the brutality of ICE agents, government leaders getting arrested for speaking out, average citizens boldly protesting, others afraid of speaking out for fear of retaliation. The rising cost of living, the uncertain future of Medicaid and social security. Two sides hellbent on being on the side of the victors above and beyond the good of all for all – no longer one nation, and certainly not one nation under God.

Now, America is an active participant in this growing global unrest. Some citizens are happy and proud. Some are angry. Others are terrified. Everyone has an opinion.

Dr. Boone went on to ask what the Christian response should be during liminal seasons. He listed several responses people may have. I threw my desire to be like Dietrich Bonhoeffer onto that list of things we want to do or think we ought to do. None are bad or wrong in and of themselves, but none were in accordance with the call of scripture.

“Seek first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33).

In translation, first and above all else, go to God in prayer.

Pray.

Pray for the innocent victims who had no say in the actions taken by their governments.

Pray for the world leaders – all of them, whether or not we like, agree with, or respect them. Whether or not they believe in God is irrelevant because God still loves them and would lovingly welcome them home if they repented and turned to Him.

Pray for peace – the peace which surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Pray that God be revealed and that healing will come.

Pray . . . pray . . . pray . . .

Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Dr. Boone went on to talk about John the Baptist, and the Christian characteristics he lays out for us. In short, during this liminal time, we are called to continue to do and to be who we have always been called to do and to be: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23 – fruits of the Spirit).

Dr. Boone gave much greater detail of the story of John the Baptist speaking to a gathered crowd about the coming Messiah in Luke 3:1-18. I want to focus on versus 8-14.

The story takes place in a liminal moment in time for the Jewish people. They were being ruled by a brutal foreign regime, and their religious leaders often became political bedfellows with the Romans or created so many burdensome laws (613) that it is a wonder anyone could ever remain faithful.

After calling the religious leaders a brood of vipers, John goes on to instruct how one should rightly live:

“Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don’t just say to each other, ‘We’re safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.’”

Today, Catholics could replace “descendants of Abraham” with “descendants of the Pope.” Those of us from the Wesleyan-Holiness tradition could say “descendants of John Wesley.” Other Christian denominations could say “descendants of Joseph Smith or John Calvin or Matin Luther” and so on and so forth.

“That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones. Even now the ax of God’s judgment is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire.”
The crowds asked, “What should we do?”
John replied, “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry.”

We can stop here and turn to Matthew 25:31-46. I will let my readers look this one up for themselves.

The story of John the Baptist in Luke 3 continues:

Even corrupt tax collectors came to be baptized and asked, “Teacher, what should we do?”
He replied, “Collect no more taxes than the government requires.”
“What should we do?” asked some soldiers.
John replied, “Don’t extort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.”

In other words, keep on doing what you were always called to do. John does not tell the tax collector to stop being a tax collector. He is simply telling the tax collectors to be honest and righteous and good.

In the same way, John is not telling the soldier to stop being a soldier. He is simply telling the soldiers to be honest, righteous, and good.

. . . to practice the fruits of the spirit as I mentioned earlier:

“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

Hearing Dr. Boone’s message was an aha moment for me. His words helped me let out the breath that I did not even realize I had been holding and reminded me that God did not call me to be Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He called me to be the best version of Renee I can be.

In this moment, no matter what is happening or what will happen in the world, the best way I can continue to take care of myself, serve God, and be a light to others is to first pray, then continue doing what I do until He tells me to do something different.

I am a hospital chaplain. I am called to keep going to work same as every other day and continue to offer spiritual and emotional support for patients, families, and staff.

I am an associate pastor of my church and play drums for our worship team. I am to keep sharing the love of the Lord in all the various ways I serve in this capacity.

I am working on starting a non-profit foundation. I am to stay the course.

Sometimes, like today, I feel an overwhelming need to write and share all that is on my mind and in my heart. I am to keep writing.

I’d like to think I am a kind person wherever I go and with whomever I interact. I am to continue to do so, regardless of political lines, race, ethnicity, gender, religion.

There may come a time when more is demanded of me. That is why remaining vigilant in prayer, study, and community worship is vital. It’s the same reason athletes continue to train in the off-season and why soldiers continue to train in times of peace. One never knows what tomorrow will bring. We best be prepared.

Nevertheless, my prayer is that we can be and will be prepared without fear.

And as I often remind my patients, we never have to rely on our own strength and courage – THANK GOD! He gives us HIS strength and HIS courage. And it is God’s strength and God’s courage that will get us through.

So, as the scriptures says, Do Not Be Afraid.