John 16:26, 19:26

_{Written-out sermon delivered @OCC Sunday, January 26, 2025.}

Christianity is a therapeutic religion. It is alive, relational. It gives us hope and drives out fear.

That was the theme of the welcoming sermon the night I arrived for my silent retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani.

“What is the biggest threat to faith?” he asked.

“Fear.”

“How do we overcome?” he asked.

“We face it head on. We experience it. We walk through it.”

The following night, the monk continued the sermon by declaring that Christianity is a religion of intimacy.

INTIMACY – JOHN

He brought the two themes together – intimacy and fear – by relating to us the story of John, the beloved disciple of Christ, beginning with the story of the last supper, when Jesus predicts his betrayal.  

[Jesus] testified and said, “Truly, truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” The disciples began looking at one another, at a loss to know of which one He was speaking. Lying back on Jesus’ chest was one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. 24 So Simon Peter *nodded to this disciple and *said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom He is speaking.” He then simply leaned back on Jesus’ chest and *said to Him, “Lord, who is it?” (John 21b-25, NASB)

This story gives us a beautiful glimpse into the relationship between John and Jesus.

Leonardo di Vinci’s famous portrayal of the Last Supper shows the disciples sitting in chairs on an elongated table, with Jesus in the center. Back in those days, however, they would have been reclining on the floor, resting on their right elbow, and eating with their left.

It was certainly a bit more relaxed than we eat today, but it was not quite as intimate as one may think. Consider the fact that sitting in this position could mean that your neighbor’s feet would be pretty close to your face, one important reason for the custom of washing feet. Reclining in this manner does not necessarily lend itself to be in a position to lean against your neighbor’s chest the way scripture describes John doing with Jesus.

As the Matthew Henry Bible Commentary points out, leaning on each other’s bosom during mealtime would make it nearly impossible, and certainly quite inconvenient and uncomfortable to eat and drink.

Imagine when a child or a beloved pet falls asleep on your lap. The longer they remain in this posture, your body begins to ache. Maybe you have to use the restroom or want a drink of water, but doing so would disrupt the moment. In this posture, with your beloved resting peacefully, you are more inclined to remain uncomfortable in this posture of love rather than disrupt the moment.

This is the kind of intimacy Henry describes between John and Jesus. Jesus loved them all, but there was a unique, intimate bond. This kind of expression between men would have been an extraordinary expression of endearment. I would argue that it still would be. I, for, one, have trouble being so touchy-feely with anyone other than babies and my pets.

Why is John referred to the beloved disciple? Because he shared this level of intimacy with Jesus. He was close enough to him to rest his head on Jesus’ chest, to be the one another disciple relied upon to ask Jesus a question they all wanted to know. Being this close to Jesus, he was able to talk to Jesus privately and to hear things only meant for him.

Henry goes on to point out that this honor – of being the disciple whom Jesus loves – is offered to all of us. Those of us willing to lay ourselves at Christ’s feet are invited to lay in his bosom.

William Barclay points out that when we enter this kind of relationship, we can go to Jesus with anything. “We know that the door is open; we know that his name is Father; we know that his heart is love. We are like children who never doubt that their father delights to see them or that they can talk to him as they wish.”

INTIMACY – ME

During a hike in the woods on day two of my retreat, I came upon an old stone house along one of the monastery trails. After looking around and reminiscing about the first time I stumbled upon this place, I sat on the front porch and pulled up an empty chair next to me. I tried to imagine Jesus sitting beside me, but forcing the image failed.

Then, I began thinking about he monk’s message – the intimacy between John and Jesus. I laid my head back against the wooden headrest and I felt him, my head resting upon his chest just underneath his chin. I felt calm, relaxed, at peace.

We talked. I asked questions. He answered.

The last time I visited the abbey, the entire property was in a wi-fi dead zone. Now, all these sacred landmarks can be accessed on GPS hiking apps that include location sharing in case of emergency. I thanked Jesus that all this technology did not exist during my previous stays. Otherwise, I would not have had to rely on him to save me when I got lost and I would not have had all those wonderful memories and stories to tell. He shared with me that some people have to go through things the hard way so that they can be better equipped to make the road easier for others. In other words, I mapped the trail so that others would not get lost.

FEAR – JOHN

John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, the one who lay in Jesus’ bosom during the last supper, is the only disciple at the foot of the cross during the crucifixion of Jesus. How was it that he was able to overcome such agonizing fear and be there?

Because he had been intimate with Jesus.

During one of his sermons, the monk at the monastery reminded us that Christianity is not about doctrine. He pointed out that a lot of people approach Christianity with an attitude of “tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” That, however – a list of do’s and dont’s – is not what faith is about. It’s about relationship. It’s about intimacy. It’s about being so close to Jesus that he talks to us so that only we can hear. It’s about being so close that we can confide in him and him in is. It’s about being so close that we have the strength and courage to walk through the hardships of life.

Fast forward from chapter 13 and the last supper to chapter 19 and the crucifixion.

Soldiers invaded Jesus’ sacred time with his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane. Judas betrayed him with a kiss. The disciples scattered.

Jesus was taken to the religious leaders who took him to Pilate and demanded his crucifixion. He was humiliated, tortured, mocked, and left to die. Everything his followers hoped for and believed in seemed to be taken from them. They rightly feared they could be the next to die.

Yet, standing at the foot of the cross, the lone man among a group of women was John, the beloved disciple:

Now beside the cross of Jesus stood His mother, His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. So when Jesus saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own household. (John 19:25-27, NASB)

Why was it that John was the only disciple at the foot of the cross during the crucifixion?

He had every reason to be afraid, to fear that all his hopes and dreams were dying on the cross. He had every reason to fear that the religious leaders would come for him next. He had every right to fear the death of someone he loved so intimately.

He was able to overcome that fear and stand there in the midst of it BECAUSE of the relationship he had with Jesus prior to this moment. The intimacy he shared with Jesus prepared him for this moment. I believe that, because of their intimate relationship, John would not have been content to be anywhere else, no matter the cost to himself.  

FEAR – ME

On day three of my retreat, I planned to hike to the site of an old homestead, a place I once found accidentally but was not on a map – only two miles one way, easy enough, I thought.

Not even half way there, I remembered a girls’ trip we took to the Grand Canyon. I will not go down that rabbit trail, but let’s just say that we greatly underestimated the difficulty of that hike and I am eternally grateful for the kindness of a stranger for saving me.

Anyway, what I failed to consider about this hike was that I was walking two miles one way through mud and snow, up and down very steep Kentucky hills. When I finally reached my destination, all I saw was an old hand pump and an empty lot.

My internal attitude was less than ideal. I grumbled much like the Israelites when they became thirsty after participating in the miracle of the parting of the sea. They had a short memory – I had a short memory. (Exodus 14 and 15)

I enjoyed the scenery, but my calves and feet were hurting by the time I got to the old-used-to-be homestead. “All the way for this?” I grumbled.

I knew I was being whiney and started joking with Jesus about it. He had been my silent walking companion. “Seriously, you let me come out here for what?”

We walked in silence. “I’m glad we had that moment yesterday. I’d like to be resting in your bosom right now. Don’t suppose I’m going to get another grand moment today.”

“You know you would have been upset if you hadn’t come.”

“I know, and I’m glad we did, but still.”

“It’s not about the journey. It’s about who accompanies you on the journey.”

“I know, and that who being You.”

“Among others.”

We continued in silence, my breathing too labored to hear or see anything. “There’s got to be a purpose in this, why we’re out here. Something.”

He called to mind what I read this morning, “There’s a time to bask in my presence and there’s a time to move. It’s time to move.”

I grunted and kept walking.

When I returned to my room at the monastery, I re-read the passages from the morning:

From The Letter to the Romans: The New Daily Study Bible by William Barclay:

(Commentary on Romans 6:12-14)

“Christians are not meant to wallow in an experience, however wonderful; they are meant to go out and live a certain kind of life that faces the world’s attacks and problems head on.”

“That emotion must be translated into action. Christianity can never be only an experience of the inner being; it must be a life in the market place.”

From The Practice of the Presence of Jesus: Daily Meditations on the Nearness of Our Savior by Joni Eareckson Tada:

(16 The Spiritual Life quote by Brother Lawrence)

“We must . . . always work at the spiritual life, because not to advance, in the spiritual life, is to go back.”

INTIMACY REQUIRES PREPARATION

Intimacy and Action – the two very different hiking experiences reinforced the monk’s sermon and reminded me that, much like the hike, building intimacy with Jesus takes a whole lot of committed time and effort – but is it worth it.

When we prepare ourselves to meet Jesus, not only is it worthwhile in and of itself, but He will equip us for what is to come.

John didn’t just come to a place where he could be so intimate with Jesus that he would recline against his bosom. Time, effort and intentionality had to have gone into building that kind of intimacy.

I had to travel over 1,000 miles to a place in the middle of nowhere with limited Wi-Fi service where no one was allowed to talk to me in order to detox from all the distractions of everyday life so that, after a few days of being alone and silent, I could finally hear him and see him and be intimate with him in a way that I can only be when I am intentional about it.

Do I have to go so far away to encounter him? In one sense, no. He is my best friend always and forever. I experience him every day. In another sense, yes. Sometimes, I get so consumed with the distractions of the world that the only cure is to go away for a bit – much like an alcoholic or drug addict needs to physically separate from the drug which is destroying their lives.

Am I saying everyone should spend a week at Gethsemani? Well . . . no. Part of me wishes everyone could, but I also know that this kind of thing is not for everyone. That is the beautiful thing about the love of Jesus. He knows what we need, and he knows how to speak to us in our own language, so to speak.

What I am saying is that we should all get away from distractions and be with Jesus. Do whatever work on the front end is required, no matter the cost.

Are you a workaholic? Do better to plan your Sabbath rest and commit to sticking to it.

Are you a procrastinator? Set some time on your calendar and reminders on your phone, have an accountability partner – just do whatever it’s going to take to keep your appointment with Jesus.

Do you tend to talk too much and listen too little? Go for a walk or get a meditation app and commit to a time of silence.

Does this sound tedious or difficult or unromantic? You bet it is!

I have to plan six months in advance to go to Gethsemani. Then there’s getting the time off work, booking my flight, rental care, finding someone to take care of my pets – not to mention saving the money to be able to purchase everything I would need to get me there and home.

Then there was the travel itself, the concern over the weather, and the days without my cell phone or television or even my choice of food. It took planning which caused me a great deal of anxiety.

Then why do it?

Because it’s worth it – to have that moment at the stone house and the talk on the walk – I can’t get that kind of intimacy any other way.

If I hadn’t known my need, I wouldn’t have done it, and I would have missed out.

If I hadn’t known my own limitations, I would not have gone all the way to Gethsemani to meet with him.

If I had not experienced Jesus intimately in the past, I likely would have chosen something more convenient or less expensive for my vacation.

When the anxiety and fear hits, I rely on what I know of Jesus and past experiences to keep me moving forward. I have been to Gethsemani many times before. Therefore, I know what, or rather, who awaits me when I do the work to detox.

My time with Jesus comforts and heals me in the moment, but it also sustains me in the future. They act as signposts to guide me when times get tough, the anxiety becomes overwhelming, or I pout like a little child when the journey becomes too strenuous.

As the monk reminded us that first day, scripture refers to John as the beloved disciple, but he invites all of us to be his intimate disciple. The question becomes, then, are you willing to lay it all at Jesus’ feet and do your part to get there and stay there?