The title of the book intrigued me. It reminded me of something a therapist once told me in response to a statement I made during one of the most tumultuous events of my life.

“I feel like I’m the one going crazy,” I confessed.

“What you are feeling is perfectly normal for a perfectly abnormal situation,” she responded.

As I read, many thoughts swirled in my mind:

I think about Brad and how his death nearly derailed me.

I think about everything I experienced in the hospital as a chaplain during the pandemic and how, in many ways, it did derail me.

I think about all the patients and families I have had the honor to walk beside during their worst days.

I think about Bailey, and how her death shattered my heart into sand.

I recommend this book to anyone who has experienced loss and to anyone who wants to learn how to be a better friend to those who are suffering.

I recommend it because so much of what Megan Devine says are lessons she learned from personal experience and tools my therapist has used to help me – strategies I, in turn, share with others in my work.

So much of what she writes ring true for me now – after the death of Bailey.

Bailey was my precious baby girl – a rat terrier whom I loved more than anything or anyone I have ever loved before. In many ways, losing her has been more traumatizing and difficult to navigate than the death of Brad or all of my COVID-19 experiences combined.

A lot of people will never understand how the death of a dog could do me in like this. Others can easily relate.

My point is simply this – whatever our grief and trauma, OUR pain is OURS alone and no one can determine its worthiness in our hearts, minds, and lives. If it hurts, it hurts. That’s it. Nothing more to be said. No need to explain. It’s personal. It’s real.

And books like this . . . therapists like mine . . . they get it, and they are here to help.

I am not alone.

You are not alone.

It won’t take away the pain, but it sure does feel good when someone gets it . . . gets you . . . gets me.

I picked up this book to glean from it anything I could possibly use in my work as a hospital chaplain. What I got was a voice acknowledging my grief over the loss of my dog (although she makes no specific mention of losing a pet).

What I got was someone who gets it . . . who gets me.

Bailey died seven months ago today. It still feels like a freshly opened wound.

And that’s okay.

Megan Devine reminds me in each turn of the page that it’s okay that I’m not yet okay.