Yesterday, I gave the commencement speech for R.C. Freedom’s C.P.E. (clinical pastoral education) graduation. As a fellow graduate of the program and fellow chaplain, I elected to discuss the importance of self-care. I based the talk on John 21:12-13 – using a lesson I learned from this past summer’s PALCON (pastor’s and leader’s conference) speech by Michaele VaVigne.

When preparing a sermon, I outline my points using Andy Stanley’s preaching structure. I then write out the entire sermon in narrative format. I do not preach from the longhand but writing it out in this manner helps me to remember the main talking points.

I did not record the sermon, but I thought this would still be a great topic to share one week before Christmas.

Below is the text of my talk:

ME

When I interviewed for my current position as a hospital chaplain, one of the managers asked me about my self-care routine. I had never been asked this question before and was unsure how to answer. I had learned enough from past employment experience to know that it was okay and even admirable to admit when I did not know the answer and to ask questions.

I’m not sure how I answered, but I assume, knowing how green I was only a few short years ago, that I listed off a few of my hobbies. Reading, writing, being out in nature. I do remember asking one manager what she did for self-care. She told me she eats ice cream and runs.

I have since worked through the entirety of the pandemic and I once calculated that the past three years of the pandemic equaled 15 “regular” years in experiences. I have become quite the expert in the meaning and practice of self-care. After a particularly tumultuous day, one nurse asked, “who takes care of you since you expend so much energy taking care of all of us?” I told her that I practice what I preach. Now, any time we experience something particularly taxing, I ask those involved how they plan to care for themselves. If they don’t have a plan, we discuss options. I even have these conversations with patients and families. We all need a plan.

People assume that because I am a pastor and a chaplain that my self-care involves Jesus and all things spiritual and holy. And, of course, prayer and scripture reading are at the top of that list, but that’s not all I do. My self-care plan is dependent upon the situation. Sometimes it is ice cream. Sometimes I blare Bon Jovi music on my drive home. Sometimes I drive home in silence.

Sometimes I read or write or go for a walk. During the pandemic, my best self-care involved working out. I had to work out BEFORE a shift. I carry a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders and if I did not get that extra energy out before a shift, I was likely to crack under the pressure. During the pandemic, we often joked that we used to wonder when the next death would occur, but now we wondered how many today? And COVID deaths were not your run of the mill deaths, especially in the early days when families were not permitted into the rooms. For some, yoga or meditation works best. I am a member of a gym called 9Round. It’s a kickboxing-type workout. For me, punching and kicking heavy bags was the best workout. I have even been known to take a baseball bat to a heavy bag until I can’t breathe or break down and cry.

There’s movies, television, books. Oh, and being in school has been wonderful. Not only do I have an activity to keep me busy, but I have other like-minded people to talk with. And, I see a therapist. Not only do I talk to my therapist and my schoolmates, but I also reach out to other chaplains to talk through things.

And, of course, I start and end with prayer – and silence.

WE

When people tell me they do not have a self-care plan, I often remind them of what flight attendants tell us before the plane takes off. We must put our mask on first before we help others with their mask. In other words, we cannot help others if we do not first take care of ourselves.

Most of what I mentioned as self-care techniques deal with how I decompress AFTER certain situations. What I want to talk about with you today is how we care for ourselves BEFORE walking into the unknown.

GOD

Read John 21:1-13

Jesus Appears at the Sea of Galilee

21 After these things Jesus [a]revealed Himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tiberias, and He revealed Himself in this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas who was called [b]Didymus, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of His disciples were together. 3 Simon Peter *said to them, “I am going fishing.” They *said to him, “We are also coming with you.” They went out and got into the boat; and that night they caught nothing.

4 But when the day was now breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 So Jesus *said to them, “Children, you do not have any fish to eat, do you?” They answered Him, “No.” 6 And He said to them, “Cast the net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you will find the fish.” So they cast it, and then they were not able to haul it in because of the great quantity of fish. 7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved *said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” So when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he was stripped for work), and threw himself into the sea. 8 But the other disciples came in the little boat, for they were not far from the land, but about [c]two hundred cubits away, dragging the net full of fish.

9 So when they got out on the land, they *saw a charcoal fire already [d]made and fish placed on it, and bread. 10 Jesus *said to them, “Bring some of the fish which you have now caught.” 11 So Simon Peter went up and hauled the net to land, full of large fish, 153; and although there were so many, the net was not torn.

Jesus Provides

12 Jesus *said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples ventured to inquire of Him, “Who are You?” knowing that it was the Lord. 13 Jesus *came and *took the bread and *gave it to them, and the fish likewise. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus revealed Himself to the disciples, after He was raised from the dead.

Verse one reads, “after these things.” After what things? After the death and resurrection of Jesus. After Jesus revealed himself to the disciples while they were in hiding, not yet understanding the significance of what took place and afraid they would be the next to die.

Jesus revealed himself to the disciples, but “after these things,” they still did not fully understand “these things.” What do we tend to do when we don’t know what to do? We go back to what we do know.

Peter knew fishing, so he went back to fishing – and the other disciples followed him.

We know what happens next. Jesus is on the shore and calls out to them. They don’t recognize him right away but do as he tells them. Their nets go from empty to nearly tipping over the boat.

John recognizes Jesus. Peter jumps in the water and swims to shore. The others follow in the boat with the haul of fish.

Jesus is waiting for them on the shore.

We have heard all kinds of interpretations of this passage:

• the meaning of the fish and the charcoal fire.
• Jesus asking Peter if he loves him – three times – lots we could unpack there.
• Jesus and Peter going for a walk and John following.

But I would like for us to focus on verses 12-13, especially the first few words of verse 12:

12 Jesus *said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples ventured to inquire of Him, “Who are You?” knowing that it was the Lord. 13 Jesus *came and *took the bread and *gave it to them, and the fish likewise. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus revealed Himself to the disciples, after He was raised from the dead.

Jesus *said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”

I would love to take credit for this next insight, but I admit that I borrowed it from one of the pastors at this year’s PALCON conference in Nashville, Tennessee – Michaele LaVigne.

The disciples did not provide the fish for the breakfast. They did not build the fire or bake the bread. They did not even serve it. Jesus did it all. He made the fire. He provided the fish and the bread. Jesus even “took the bread and *gave it to them, and the fish likewise.”

BEFORE Jesus called Peter to:

• “Tend My lambs.”
• “Shepherd My sheep.”
• “Tend My sheep.”
• Or “Follow Me!” John 21:15-19

He fed Peter breakfast. Jesus equipped Peter before sending him.

YOU

Before He sends you, he invites you to breakfast.

WE

Before most of my shifts, I conclude my prayer with some version of the following: As for my day, I have no idea what this day will bring, but I do pray for you to be fully in control. Prepare the path ahead of me. Lead me where you would have me go. Walk beside me. Speak to me and through me. Fill me with your peace and your presence, your confidence, courage, endurance, strength, and compassion.

During the worst of COVID, I have been reminded of the importance of also spending time in silence and solitude with God. Our world gets too noisy, making it more and more difficult to hear and feel Him. If we wait until our situation becomes chaotic before seeking Jesus, it may be too late. We may get lost in the storm.

CONCLUSION

Silence recenters us. Silence is where we best hear him and experience his presence.

It is in the silence and solitude when Jesus says, “Come and have breakfast.”

I invite you, as you continue to develop your self-care plan, neglect not the most important. So, when someone asks you about your self-care plan, you can reply, “Well, I began by having breakfast with Jesus.”