Sometimes I really miss the old days when my life seemed so ordinary and boring. No emotional highs or lows. No drama.

These days, it seems to be one Faris Wheel ride after another. Or, in the words of one of my all time favorite Bon Jovi songs, Rollercoaster:

What goes up might take us upside down
Life ain’t a merry go round
It’s a Roller Coaster

I keep waiting for a pause, when life returns me to the humdrum existence I tend to miss. Then it occurred to me – I will never go back. Am I okay with that?

I will never go back because I am no longer the person I used to be. Life will always be void of drama when we live in isolation, refusing to invest emotionally with anyone, including myself.

I have spent more than a decade working to undo a lifetime of self-inflicted damage. During that time, I have realized the value and necessity of relationships. They are hard work and being in honest and open relationships leave us vulnerable – and often in the midst of drama. Sometimes we get a lull in activity, a comfortable Faris Wheel vibe, but sooner or later, we may find ourselves upside down, jerking in our seats, screaming in sheer terror.

I do not have to accept a reality television type of drama filled life (thank God for that) but being in relationship with other human beings does mean my life will never again reflect the boring hum of a walk on a treadmill.

That is the price we pay for being an active member of the human race.

Is it worth it?

You betcha!

It may simply require more naps or times of isolation to regain my stamina. Other introverts get it!