I have been asked why I posted my books for free rather than try to get published and make some money. I guess you can say that there is nothing particularly traditional about me. I have never really gone about anything the “normal” way. You can also say that I have tried and failed . . . multiple times. But the ultimate reason, I suppose, is that I built this site as part of a seminary class project . . . and I decided to leave it and build upon it.

So, here’s a little more of my story:

I am 46, single, have no kids, haven’t dated since my tumultuous divorce in 2010, survived stage 4 cancer (2012), and have been deaf in my right ear since the age of two (all stories within themselves). 

I am a heterosexual woman born and raised in Texas (minus the 15 years I lived in Tennessee with my professional-musician-husband and worked as a Crime Prevention and Women’s Self-Defense Instructor with the Office of Campus Security at Belmont University), who loves football, has tattoos, and hasn’t worn makeup since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic when masks became mandatory (and I only wore makeup to work and other rare occasions before then). I am most comfortable wearing jeans, t-shirt, baseball cap, and no shoes. I used to play the drums, got knocked out in a bicycle accident, wiped out on roller blades, played several sports (my favorite was roller basketball – basketball on roller blades – very violent), was big into Krav Maga until my oncologist told me to stop, got in an argument with a coach in the sixth grade because he would not let girls play football, and got into an argument with a Priest my freshman year of college because he patronized me and refused to answer my questions for a research paper about why women were not allowed to serve as Priests. AND . . . I have always had a close relationship with Jesus. He has been my best friend since I was itty bitty.

None of this is particularly out of the ordinary these days, but back in the 80s and 90s, this kind of behavior for a female was quite taboo and enough to cause her to be ostracized from her peers.

Chemo and it’s direct and indirect after effects slowed me down. In my “old” age, I now prefer more mellow hobbies like books, music, theater, and being out in nature. I also really love to paint and other modest home renovations.

Oh, and I used to be an emotional stump. Long story, but I have overcome.

In other words, I do not fit into any traditional box.  I am not, nor have I ever been, normal or “cool,” and I am darn proud of it (although it took me about 40 years to get here).

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Twenty-plus years ago, I attempted to get published through mainstream channels. My editor at the time told me that my manuscript was the best thing to come across her desk in a long time but warned that I would never get published. She suggested I either tone down the drama or turn Jesus into a generic god. I refused because, contrary to what those who promote the prosperity gospel preach, Christians do suffer, and life sometimes REALLY sucks for us, too. The difference is that our faith helps get us back up when nothing else can or will.

Fast forward 20+ years. Contrary to what has been suggested, the mainstream market has not changed all that much. People still hold fast to the cookie-cutter model, and it is nearly impossible to find someone to take a chance on an outsider like me. (I have a drawer full of old rejection letters and would still be collecting them, but now I am rejected via email. 😉)

So, why not self-publish? Two reasons:

1) It is too expensive to do it right.

2) I know better than to veer too far out of my lane. I know where I excel and where I fall short – I describe myself as an introverted wall-flower turtle. I do not have the desire or energy to invest in the rest.

One day, God asked me why I write. If I still believe I have something to say and an audience who would appreciate what I have to offer, how important is it for me to make money off my words? In other words, do I really need to seek the traditional publishing route?

The answer – I could care less about monetary gain. I see my writing as a gift from God that I want to share with others. I am by no means rich. No one (or not many) gets into ministry banking on a financial windfall. I have other passions, such as my work as a hospital chaplain, that pay the bills.

So, this is it. My free gift to whoever chooses to take the time to read it. I call it TRA.Perspective (the “t” is for Troy, but don’t call me that. Only strangers call me that).

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 On March 24, 2022, I gave a class presentation on hope in the midst of suffering for one of my seminary classes called Megillot (Ruth, Song of Songs, Ecclesiastes, Lamentations, Esther).  

I thought of re-recording it, but if you watch the video, you will see why I would rather not. The topic is rather personal and it was the first time I discussed a recent episode with anyone other than my therapist. It is not something I want to talk about again anytime soon. 

I am posting this video here because it explains why I created TRA.Perspective. 

Before watching the video, I do warn that I talk about suicide. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please get help now. 

There is a portion of the video near the beginning when the sound stops working. It was user error – thinking I could mute myself and that the rest of the Zoom class could still hear. During the muted section, I shared a story about how the death of my ex-husband broke me. To watch all or part of that sermon, visit my YouTube channel. https://youtu.be/8ezG9B8H64Y